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Tila Tequila’s Courting Suggestions

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Tila Tequila might sound unattainable, however deep down she’s only a common woman…a daily woman with a dad who fucked up actual, actual unhealthy. We lately caught up with the horny star of A Shot at Love and requested her for some frank recommendation about fashionable courting.

 

  • Women, having requirements is necessary, however ensure that they aren’t too excessive. Bear in mind, the “excellent man” is only a fairytale, like Bigfoot or HIV.
  • Guys, nothing kills a date sooner than unhealthy manners. Not providing your date a Valtrex isn’t simply inconsiderate, it’s downright impolite.
  • Talking of unhealthy manners, in the event you don’t open doorways for me, I don’t open my legs for you…until you might have cash. Then it doesn’t actually matter.
  • Guys, in the event you’re at dinner and the waiter begins to flirt together with your date, calmly get up, smash a wine glass on the desk, maintain the shards of glass to his neck and demand that he respect you. Something much less and your woman will suppose you’re a pussy.
  • For those who odor uncooked fish and we’re not at a sushi restaurant, DON’T touch upon it.
  • Okay guys, you’ve already paid for an costly meal. Now it’s time to go the additional mile. Supply to carry again your date’s hair as she regurgitates her meals within the parking zone. Further factors in case you have a mint ready!
  • Women, he’s there to make you are feeling particular, so don’t be afraid to order a facet of “balls in your mouth” at dinner.
  • Bear in mind, you possibly can’t purchase your manner into a lady’s bed room. Attempt utilizing coke.
  • Guys, whenever you’re in your first date and the woman begins blowing you, don’t push down on her head. That’s manner too ahead and will make her gag and vomit in your cock earlier than she’s able to.
  • No condom, no downside! Bear in mind women; nobody ever had a butt child.
  • Women, isn’t it annoying whenever you’re on a date with a man and he asks you the place he ought to “end”? He is aware of we’re simply going to scoop it up and eat it no matter the place it lands, so why does he ask?
  • Exploring bi-sexuality is a good way to broaden your horizons. It’s additionally a good way to say “fuck you” to your dad for not shopping for you that pony you wished whenever you have been 9.
  • Don’t assume that simply because a lady is bisexual she needs to make out together with your gal buddies…until your gal buddies put on cherry chapstick and have tight labias. Then you possibly can assume no matter you want.
  • For those who do end up drawn to somebody of the identical intercourse, don’t be ashamed. Curiosity is completely pure, identical to fisting or being raped by your uncle.
  • My greatest rule for any date is to be your self…until in fact it’s “sweeps week” and Mort from Viacom’s advertising division tells you to be extra of a whore. Belief me, he would possibly look out of contact, however that heeb is aware of tips on how to pull within the 18-to 25-year-old demographic.
  • Bear in mind, you possibly can take the woman out of the third-world prostitution ring, however you possibly can’t take the third-world prostitution ring out of the woman.

Particular due to all the CelebJihad.com writers.



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